35-year-old married woman "forgets" to wear her wedding ring to work, 34-year-old husband reconsiders relationship after she confesses to having a work crush: "Given everything going on, it felt like cheating"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jul 2, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Before my fiancé got down on one knee and popped the big question, we had discussed the subject of engagement rings at length. He wanted to get me something that I'd like, but it was also important for both of us to decide on a price range. Before this ring, I'd never really owned nice jewelry before. Furthermore, every ring I'd ever owned had eventually disappeared into the ether because I have a tendancy to fiddle with them. So, I asked him to spend as little as possible. Eight months later, I haven't lost it (knock on wood)! But I still do forget to put it on from time to time despite my best efforts to ensure that it is part of my morning routine by placing it near my tooth brush.

For many a forgetful lover, not wearing a wedding or engagement ring is simply a sign that they were in a hurry that morning. However, many deliberately choose to go without their ring to send a message. Scroll down to find out what message our protagonist's wife was trying to send in our story today. 

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  • 01

    My wife (F35) admitted she's attracted to a coworker. I (M34) want to be realistic-what are my options?

    "I've felt off ever since"
    via shisuka

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My wife (35F) and I (34M) have been together for 13 years. Like any long relationship, we've had ups and downs, but overall I think it's been a happy one. We've always spent a lot of time together while also having our own friends and hobbies.
    via u/AppointmentSimple
  • 03
    A few years ago, we moved to a different country. That made things harder because we didn't have any friends or family here, and we ended up spending much more time at home. She was especially isolated since she wasn't working until about three months ago.
    via u/AppointmentSimple
  • 04
    Around three weeks ago, we had a serious conversation about how things weren't going so well. She told me she felt like I should be more present and decisive. I completely agreed. I had been dealing with some depres on related to my
    via u/AppointmentSimple
  • 05
    work, and while that has been difficult, I fully understand that it's not an excuse for not giving her the attention she deserves. I also said that I missed intimacy, not just s but emotional closeness too. We both made it clear that we still love each other and want to stay together.
    via u/AppointmentSimple
  • 06
    The following week, I planned a trip to some hot springs about an hour away. We spent the whole day there, and it was really nice. I felt good that we were able to do something fun and different. We don't get many chances to do that since we are basically living paycheque to paycheque.
    via u/AppointmentSimple
  • 07
    But later that night, after we got home, she told me she had feelings for a coworker. She said she was S lly attracted to him but still wanted to be with me. She said she didn't know what to do about it. I
    via u/AppointmentSimple
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10523703552
    via Africa Images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    asked whether it was just a crush or something more, but I didn't get a clear answer. She told me she hadn't acted on it and would never do anything behind my back. Still, the whole conversation left me feeling uneasy.
    via u/AppointmentSimple
  • 10
    We agreed to work on the issues we had talked about and see how things go. But honestly, I've felt off ever since.
    via u/AppointmentSimple
  • 11
    A few days later, while I was driving her home from work, I noticed she wasn't wearing her wedding ring. When I brought it up, she said she didn't think I would notice because I don't pay attention to her.
    via u/AppointmentSimple

  • She certainly wanted someone to notice that she wasn't wearing her wedding ring – whether that was her husband or work crush remains to be seen.

  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10523704064
    via Africa Images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    That's not true at all. She said it wasn't a big deal. I told her it was one of the most disrespectful things she's ever done. Given everything going on, it felt like cheating. I couldn't see any reason for her to stop wearing it unless she wanted to get attention from the guy she's into.
    via u/AppointmentSimple
  • 14
    We talked, and she said it wouldn't happen again. She told me she loves me and doesn't want to be with anyone else. But something broke inside me. I still love her. We've been together our whole adult lives. But I feel stupid for even trying, and that feeling has been hard to shake.
    via u/AppointmentSimple
  • 15
    Right now, a full separation isn't possible because of our financial and living situation. But I can't help feeling like we're already done, and I don't know where to go from here.
    via u/AppointmentSimple
  • 16
    We're still going through the motions and doing things as usual, but I've been noticeably colder toward her. On more than one night, I waited for her to fall asleep and then moved to the couch because it just felt easier.
    via u/AppointmentSimple
  • 17
    Do you have any advice? Should I give this another chance, and if so, how? Or is it already over? How can I move on from this?
    via u/AppointmentSimple
  • 18
    TL;DR: My wife (F35) and I (M34) have been together for 13 years and have hit a rough patch recently. We've had issues with emotional intimacy, and she admitted she's attracted to a coworker, though she hasn't acted on it. We still love each other, but I'm left feeling unsure if our marriage can be saved. I'm struggling with what to do next- should I try to work through this, or is it time to let go?
    via u/AppointmentSimple

  • I can feel the resentment building from both our protagonist and his wife through my laptop screen…

  • 19
    Cheezburger Image 10523703808
    via RyanKing999

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 20
    GreenEggs-n-Haaam Attractions happen, that wasn't a red flag. But the fact that she not only took off her ring for work as well as trying to blame it on you? Nah, that ain't
    via u/GreenEggs-n-Haaam
  • 21
    right. To me it sounds like she's sneakily trying to set up a fling that holds her blameless. Personally, this sounds hard to get past, but if you feel you can make it through this, maybe therapy is a good option.
    via u/GreenEggs-n-Haaam
  • 22
    hoddap Then again, she confessed to OP about the feelings. I'd be confused as well.
    via u/hoddap
  • 23
    GreenEggs-n-Haaam That's exactly why it sounds like a set-up. Now, can she work her way into justifying saying something like "I told you I was starting to have feelings elsewhere and you still didn't fix our
    via u/GreenEggs-n-Haaam
  • 24
    relationship!" I mean, she's already saying something similar. "I took my wedding ring off because I didn't think you paid enough attention to me to notice" blaming him for her behaviour already.
    via u/GreenEggs-n-Haaam
  • 25
    Caribchakita proximity is the reality here...she needs to understand that her attraction is very common in the workplace but that she needs to sort out anything underlying vs the proximity attraction...I'd take time don't react in haste...
    via u/Caribchakita
  • 26
    glitchinthemeowtrix I saw a meme that said "your coworker is not hot, you just spend 40 hours a week with them". And I feel that has to be true for 99% of work crushes like this lol. Bold though, to be so casual about it to her husband, makes me wonder if it's a little more than a crush and has moved into affair territory.
    via u/glitchinthemeowtrix
  • 27
    I get it though, I've been working from home for decade and keep developing crushes on myself
    via u/glitchinthemeowtrix
  • 28
    Gawain222 If she wants to stay with you she needs to quit all contact with him that isn't work related. Otherwise she's giving to him some of what she should be giving to you and building that connection with him even stronger.
    via u/Gawain222
  • 29
    Individual-Foxlike Attraction to others is normal. It crops up randomly, and by itself doesn't mean anything. Her taking the ring off, though, was a deliberate choice and a massive one. The most charitable
    via u/Individual-Foxlike
  • 30
    reading is that it was a test to see how long before you noticed, and how strong your reaction was. Which... testing your partner is STILL an incredibly thing to do, so even the best case is still very bad.
    via u/Individual-Foxlike
  • 31
    And since then, you describe it as you two "going through the motions". She already had a problem with you not being present and you already had a problem with not enough intimacy, and both of those
    via u/Individual-Foxlike
  • 32
    are worse now instead of better. She didn't redevote herself to the relationship, she isn't trying to be affectionate to get things back on stable ground. These are not the actions of someone who wants to save the marriage. She can SAY whatever she wants, but actions are louder.
    via u/Individual-Foxlike

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relationship advice marriage work coworkers wife married life relationships husband couples divorce love workplace red flag married crush
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